Saturday, March 31, 2007
Karaoke and Stonehenge
Another classic was the time when "Spinal Tap" came out in special edition and we all had that big party/jam session and Jenn danced like a dwarf around Stonehenge. When a woman that awesome loves you, you know you're awesome, too! And vice versa. Joe and Jenn were and will always be TOTALLY AWESOME! It sounds goofy but it's a fact.
And now it's time to go to Joe "Hot Bread"'s memorial and celebrate the life of one of the best guys we've all ever known. We love you, Joe.
You haven't lived like Joe lived.
You haven't lived until you’ve been Willy Wonka, fucking an Oompa Loompa. Highly recommended.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
ichatting with joe
Joe iChat: Baby Names & Cat Disorders
And this is just damn funny:
it's a moral imperative.
Just prior to the event, Joe and I were discussing the upcoming party, and he had a concept he obviously was proud of, as well. We smugly dropped each other hints.
Then paused.
Then realized that we had picked the same movie: Joe was planning on impersonating Chris Knight from Real Genius, and I had zeroed in on Lazlo Hollyfeld. (Joe's costume featured an "I heart toxic waste" shirt; mine included a large tray full of envelopes and a wig). Somehow both of those character choices still seem perfect.
Commune the LIVING FORCE!
(EDIT - seems my font was ridiculously small and hard to read. Thanks cookiecrook!) Now this should take up even more space on the blog, but I don't see a way to cut-tag it.
more silly-fun Joe conversations … (is there a way to cut-tag this stuff?) I guess I’ll just lay out this nerd-ass stuff right here.
hi Devonie...
The other day, I discovered the most delicious licorice candy I have ever eaten in my life. I thought of you, because I know you like licorice. It's called "Kookaburra" and it's awesome. What is it with Australians and licorice? They know how to do it RIGHT. I got mine at Central Market. I think I'm going to send you some next week. You need to try it. Hope you are well, having a great weekend, and not too busy to enjoy life.
-Joe
Joe-
Zane is on my computer.
He said, "Who's asking what a nice girl is doing on the internet?"
I said, "Whaaa??"
He said, "Texapocalypse"
I told him it was you.
Heh - So ... FYI, Zane is signed on to my computer and my AIM is evidently on.
-Dev
So I have the perfect opportunity to really, really creep him out now.
-Joe
Star Wars talk ... (we had a lot of this … a lot a lot a LOT!!)
Devonie --
Doing well. I guess my midichlorian count is somewhere in the level between Darth Maul and Saesee Tinn. Still having weird food cravings and my appetite is going through the roof. Too bad I'm not actually craving anything HEALTHY, it's always gotta be burritos and fried shit.
-Joe
Joe,
Anyone who doesn't enjoy this movie has some kind of fucking brain damage.
-Dev
Hey Devonie --
Anyone who doesn't like it is a world-class asshole.
For real. I just can't wrap my brain around folks who naysay!!
-Joe
re: Star Wars – and the crying:
Devonie --
on opening night; Jenn and I just sat there during the closing credits, mouths hanging open, not saying anything. I remember during the final sunset scene, thinking to myself, "AW FUCK, THIS IS IT, NO MORE STAR WARS!!!" and that's when I started crying.
-Joe
Joe,
Zane says to me, "Mom - were you crying?" I said, "Yeah - you know, a little. I love these movies. This is the last one." He said, "But you're CRYING?" I said, "The first time I saw Star Wars I was seven. I've been in love with this story ever since, and as you know - that equals to about 114 years, give or take." He was thrilled to go see it. We held hands at the beginning and when the crawl started, he squeezed my hand and said, "Here it comes Mom!!" And shit like that makes it even more awesome. The excitement of it all. It's a good time. Down with the haters!!
-Dev
Devonie --
When the movie started for us, it was like with you and Zane. I looked at Jenn, she looked at me. We're like, "HERE WE GO!!!" It's like a ride at Disneyworld or something.
-Joe
Joe,
Yes – it's a total Disney Ride! The build up, the whole rollercoaster climbing into the clouds feeling - about to hit that big super heart-in-the-throat stomach flipping DROP!! Yes – that's what the crawl does to me. Love the crawl, in all it's old-school glory.
Yeah – when he walked in on the little jedi-babies and that little fresh-faced little Anakin-of-old kid approaches him. I was a little caught off guard. I was thinking, he'll probably just leave them there or something, or maybe tell them to hide or FUCK HE'S GOING TO KILL THEM ALL!!!!!! Amazing. Sad. Disturbing. That whole disturbing betrayal and massacre of the Jedi was TOUGH. Ugh. I loved the shot of the helmet being lowered. I loved how it made that exact same sound in the old movie, too. That thunk-ping! Creepy vacuum sound. Love that shit! I just get chills thinking back on the movie. I cannot wait to see it again.
I cherish our Star Wars talk, I really do.
-Dev
Devonie –
(watching bootleg) And shit, I'm watching the video right now... the part where they shoot Ki-Adi Mundi!!! And then they shoot that green Jedi chick while she's down!!! And the music! It's just so sad! All these Jedi get betrayed like BITCHES and they look so surprised. It's just such a sucker punch! I was glad when Yoda decapitated the dudes who tried to kill him. Oops, the slaughter of the younglings just came on. That part made me cry, seriously. That is when you know Anakin is beyond any help. It is probably the darkest moment in all of the Star Wars movies. HE SLAUGHTERS THE LITTLE KIDS. And the music is soooo good there, too.
-Joe
Follow up email:
Devonie –
I wish I could hook up with you guys and watch the movie with you!
Maybe we can, sometime this summer!!!
So... maybe you'll enjoy this nerd-ass shit. I've been writing notes as I've watched the movie. Just my thoughts on various shit. Whenever I see something interesting in the movie, I've written a little note.
I eventually want to compare the movie to the original screenplay that I read -- they edited the FUCK out of the final cut to get it to move faster! There are LOTS of missing scenes in the original screenplay. Anyway, here are my notes (attached). They don't go all the way to the end of the movie, because I'm not done transcribing the notes yet.
-Joe
Joe,
LOVE THE NOTES!!!!!!
Well - would that "creating life" thing sort of give credence to that whole immaculate conception theory with Anakin's Mom? Or hell - Maybe Darth Plagious spewed her with midichlorians the old fashioned way and just knocked her up? Maybe it's just bullshit? Maybe .. I don't know, I am not sure what that means, or what Anakin's "origin" is.
hmm... Maybe Shmi was a Sith groupie of some kind, who knows?
-Dev
Devonie –
OH YEAH ... I love that you can see the Death Star and TARKIN at the end of the movie!!! HOW COOL IS THAT???
dude... i just got an email from my brother... the movie BLEW HIS MIND... he wrote like a 5-page dissertation on Star Wars... he loved the movie! So, when can we see this movie together?
I feel a need to commune in the Living Force with you!
-Joe
:D
Classic Joe
consolejockey (me):
Holy crap, some weird girl is posting pictures of me on her web site! And she's hot.
texapocalypse:
Dude. You're totally gonna get laid.
bellagooch:
Dear texapocalypse,
I assume that you are an actual friend of consolejockey. Therefore, consider yourself spared.
I'm 1/4 Sicilian.
ci vediamo,
Bellagooch
texapocalypse:
Nope, I totally don't know him.
Enjoy the sex.
-*-
joemories
i love remembering the many jam sessions held on the rickety roof of my clarksville apartment's garage. joe would bring his accordion, and alarmo, eric roach and others would bring guitars, and they would play whatever 80s song we could think to request. my all-time favorite is joe's rendition of "hungry like the wolf." it took joe just a few seconds to remember any song. as a mildly senile person, i find this just absolutely stunning.
joe and jenn together are awesome. they'll always be awesome, even if it has to be on another time/space continuum. they ARE compatibility. i know lots of great teams, but joe and jenn take it to another, crazier, more fun, more amazing level. when they would get going, each one escalating the filth and insanity, i'd end up laughing so hard i'd turn pink and cry. ha!
i thank joe for giving me:
roast beef/pumpernickel/caramelized onion/swiss cheese sammiches
the best mashed potatoes in the world (note: this is coming from an idahoan... i know.)
twisted messed up movies
tasty home brew
reason to go to midland and actually have fun there
the best versions of 80s music
manhole inspector
laughter: laughter with crying, laughter to the point of nearly spitting up, old-fashioned laughy laughter
the honor of being with him as he died
i will always remember the awesomeness of joe. he teaches me to be brave and take chances with life, to hold out for real friends, and to be ready for my own death, so that it can be as beautiful as his was. i love you, joe.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
On Monday, after Joe passed away, I called my mom to tell her. She told my dad when he got home from work, and he wrote me this email.
My heart goes out to Joe, his wife, his parents and to all his friends; especially to you and Jennifer. Words can not express the depth of sorrow that you all feel when confronted with the loss of a loved one or a dear friend. I feel your anguish.
The last gift that my mother gave to me, so many years ago, is a book that I have grown to love and to cherish. I have turned to it many times in the past and will continue to depend on it in the future. "The Prophet" has so many good passages, but I send this one to you, Joe's wife and to all who share his loss:
"Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing. And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb. And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance."
Today, Joe is free. Dance with him.
Love,
Dad
retrospectacle
For the most part, though, I'm finding myself thinking about the past year, and trying to remind myself that it's existed, in between last spring's health crisis and now. Random karaoke moments from Austin Karaoke and Common Interest. Scrabble games. Various get-togethers involving 700 kinds of sausage or food masquerading as non-food items (Lileks would be proud). Part of me still misses the days back when we'd stay up all night playing Starcraft, five or six nights a week (fortunately, I had a couple of jobs in those years where showing up on time in the mornings wasn't particularly important.)
Probably the last long conversation I had with Joe was earlier this year, right before Chris and I got married, when he called and we went on a long internet scavenger hunt trying to track down a particular Star Wars script that had been translated and retranslated into gibberish. It disappeared off the net about five years ago, so all we had to work from was a few half-remembered phrases such as "I find your lack of sturgeons of the belief" and "you play the horn beep". (We did, I'm proud to say, track down the elusive quarry. Its archived form is here, thanks to the wayback machine.)
Sometime around then, I remember him pointing out that he wasn't sure if he'd be able to make it to our wedding, with his treatment schedule. Turns out, of course, that he was able to be there; I was actually standing next to my boss when Joe and Jenn went up on stage and sang Muskrat Love, which prompted a wonderfully unusual and slightly awkward "is that what I think it is?" moment. Perfect.
Part of me keeps thinking about all the things I'm going to miss doing and talking about. A big part of me, though, is glad that knowing Joe never turned into a "what if it's the last time?" thing - as far as I ever saw, he approached everything he did with fascination, and as if he had all the time in the world for it. That's all I could hope for, and it's a skill I'm still trying to learn from him.
Much love.
Game Night at Joe & Jenn's
Needless to say, this was the single greatest game of StarCraft I ever played. The battle lasted for hours! We would make a small advance, and then Joe and Jenn would flank us and drive us back. We’d knock down one of their turrets, only to find that they had teleported past the front and were attacking our SCVs. It was amazing to see them work together, carefully and quietly plotting each move and executing it with perfect timing.
As the night wore on Tom and I finally broke through their defenses. With sheer brute force we managed to get our Siege Tanks through the largest Protoss minefield ever created. We were just about to roll our troops into their home base when Joe and Jenn executed their master-stroke. In one fell swoop they not only denied us our victory, but they also completely blew our minds. At the very moment when the tide was about to turn…
Joe and Jenn quit out of the game.
The game was over. We didn’t win. They didn’t loose. Joe and Jenn did the completely unexpected, and yet in retrospect, most genius move ever. They simply changed the rules of the game on us. Needless to say I was red in the face. I couldn’t believe it. My brain was totally hacked, and has remained so ever since.
But that’s just how they roll. Tom could only laugh. If he didn’t see it coming he knew this was the kind of move only they could pull. Joe and Jenn are infamous for throwing out the rules. They play their own game, and they play it well together.
I see OJ!
Joe and I (and Tom… and Mason) both worked at a Desktop Publishing service bureau in the early to mid 90s. In fact that is where I had the great fortune to meet him and share many wacky hours together. In June 1994 I was working my usual second shift output tech job when I got a call from Joe from home.
"Dude! You have GOT to turn on the TV!!!"
I went into the break room and did just that only to join the famous OJ Simpson/Al Cowlings low speed chase already in progress. Thanks Joe!
Unfortunately what I did not see at the time was the infamous “Mr. Higgins” incident on ABC news. But that’s about all Joe wanted to talk about the next day at work. It is a classic moment in the history of the media in this country so I certainly understand why Joe loved that so much. I can still hear Joe saying, " I see OJ, man, and he looks scared…"
The audio.
The transcript of this awesome moment in American history.
An analysis.
"A Different Kind of Shitty"
Letter to Joe, titled “A Different Kind of Shitty” (thanks chris9 for the line).
For the record – I’m not going to apologize for how long and / or sappy this is likely to be.
Joe,
I miss you already. So much. I’ve been talking to people about you and laughing and crying. I was going through photos and emails, dating years back. It’s been comforting, heartbreaking and awesome to relive all those moments, even those mundane things we would talk about that seem so much more monumental now, only because I want to capture each word you said to me, typed me or commented on this stupid journal, and hug it. You are such a delight to everyone who’s known you, and you have inspired so many to really rise above and learn things about love and friendship that we may have never learned otherwise. I know you have done that for me. I hope that you knew how much you were (are) loved, and how you will be missed. I’m amazed at the friend-collective that surrounds you and cherishes you; those beautiful people who were able to be there with you, holding your hands and feet, singing to you and enveloping you in an amazing amount of love when you passed, so fittingly to your favorite Beatles album. Amazing. Hearing about how it all transpired; so surreal and beautiful, completely fitting, and with a soundtrack that could not have been more perfect in any imaginable way, and it fills me with a weird sort of inexplicable happiness. This content sort of peace was not what I was expecting to feel – it certainly hasn’t been what I’ve been experiencing in recent months while you’ve been so sick. While I hate that you are gone from us, I am touched by all the strength and love that encircled you, and I feel certain that you drifted into a love-filled, beautiful sleep. You deserve peace and rest, free from all that terrible pain. You said in a big post, that you weren’t going down with a big-ass fight, and you didn’t. Your strength through this has also been inspiring. It’s unimaginable. Zane is sad. This is a first for him too. He keeps talking about you and wanting to do something. Today he decided that he wants to design and plant an “Octopus’s Garden” for you in our back yard, with pretty colors and various Joe-like things. Nina suggested we plant herbs because you and Jenn had trouble growing them. Zane is working on the design. He was looking up tumbled, colored glass on the internet tonight. As he told me, “you’ve only known Joe for part of your life. I’ve known Joe my whole ENTIRE life". I suppose I can’t really argue with that. He cried when I played “Yesterday” on the way to dinner with Nina and Brandon tonight. The Beatles are going to be hard to listen to, but it feels good to do so, and I think many people will feel close to you when they hear The Beatles, and especially Abbey Road. Back to Zane real quick - I wonder if you even know the impact you have had on his life. You would probably be surprised. He was so excited to hang out with you and Jenn back in November. You were going to build a subatomic particle chamber out of household items. You did warn me that it would be a “tiny bit dangerous”. You emailed me back and said:
“While you're partying, Zane will be playing with radioactive isotopes and cryogenic vapor. -Joe”
Turns out you were missing an item of some kind, maybe your shipment from Chernobyl hadn’t arrived on time?
In further email goodness that I was torturing myself with; I ran across a back-and-forth email we had about your health issues. This was shortly before the shit hit the fan the first time. Many of our emails were rife with some of the most foul language ever uttered or written in any form. Here's a note from me to you:
"Joe, You've overcome so much that this is going to be gravy compared, so fuck it. This is nothing. This won't get you. This jizz-guzzling, cockpunching, fucktastic, shitspewing procedure doesn't stand a motherfucking chance, so whatevs. You need to add "hospitals" to your (insult) generator and let me fucking contribute to that shit. -Dev"
And you responded with,
"On Thursday, I'm going to whip my bitch-ass bile ducts and liver into complete submission. Then I'm going to headbutt a doctor, explode an oxygen canister, and I might even rape a nurse on my way out of the flaming wreckage of what used to be a hospital. Look for it on the news -- the crawling subtitle onscreen will say something like "JOE'S PROCEDURE A SUCCESS; SUBSEQUENT RAMPAGE DESTROYS HOSPITAL, BLOWS NURSE'S MIND -Joe"
And these emails are going to soothe me; you have no idea how I will cherish these. I have a lot of them, and they’re all brilliant and hilarious. I’m so glad I have them.
Here’s one of your notes that I love:
"What the hell is up with the universe?
I swear, I'm going to find a way to get my Insult Generator to send
long strings of intricately profane insults DIRECTLY TO GOD.
It will be the most blasphemous computer program ever written (other
than Windows 95)
-Joe"
And after your gorgeous benefit event last summer, you said:
"I just wish I could have stayed later at the benefit thing last month. Every time I see a picture of you guys it makes me want to throw a big party and invite you. Or show up at your front door with fireworks, booze, and large containers of fried food. And whipped cream, which you could then apply to my wife's crotch, as is your way.
-Joe"
Ah the sick humor. I will forever get joy out of that gift of yours. You emailed me on my birthday and I wrote you back, telling you that I was as old as Yoda. Your response to me still makes me laugh:
"Devonie,
(voice of comic book nerd)
As old as Yoda? Heh, I do not THINK so. In the Star Wars universe, no one knows exactly how old Yoda is, but most agree that he is at least 700 years old. No one even knows what race he is. Although in the Expanded Universe series, it is said he is a "Whill", a race that recorded the early history of the Republic, including the first Sith / Jedi battles. So it is highly unlikely that you are as old as Yoda. Happy Birthday anyway. -Joe"
You will always make me laugh. Your sense of humor is a huge contributor to my being able to cope with your absence. I am comforted by your words, your warmth and boundless hilarity. Thank you for making this easier on all of us through your sense of humor. You know - Tonight, we were having dinner with Nina and Brandon, enjoying conversation and talking about you, and their visit with you and Jenn and everyone at your house yesterday. Suddenly the radio in the restaurant began to play Eric Clapton’s “Tears in Heaven”, and we all burst into some kind of laughing / crying, hysterically inappropriate fit, hearing your perfect imitation of Clapton singing “Would you know my name? If you fell out the window …” Yes – it seems you are already managing to somehow make inappropriate, ill-timed, sick jokes around your friends who just aren’t READY YET. How do you even DO THAT?
You are missed already, Joe. Missed hard and you're ridiculously, forever, loved.
-Devonie
Beer Supply
My first memory of meeting Joe was when he was setting up an intranet for the stress factory. He had set up the four iron chefs (Sakai, Morimoto, Kenichi and Kobe) as employees.
Truly an inspiration -- a dedicated and thoughtful artist, and the finest of friends.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Game Music
Jackpot!
Joe's like: "Really? Which ones, because I used to know a bunch" He fires up the keyboard.
"Well, I guess I could start with Super Mario Brothers..."
"Oh yeah, that ones great. Which level were you going to learn?"
I am not certain I remember the actual name of the music..."Uh, you know...the...theme. I guess it's the main theme...?"
All of a sudden, the air is filled with the bopping sounds of the Super Mario Brothers theme. It takes me a second to realize Joe is playing it perfectly before my very eyes, but he's looking at me, not at the keyboard. "This one?"
"Whoa! Holy sh*t! Yeah, that's the one. That's amazing!"
"Because I always liked the underwater theme, too..."
I hadn't actually played Super Mario Brothers in forever at this point, and I'm thinking, "Oh, yeah, there WAS that underwater level... DAMN that was hard to swim and - " and then I realize Joe is playing the underwater score, even better than the original. He's still looking at me, to see if I remember the music.
"Oh yeah! That was cool... man, I had forgotten all about that one! Wow, it's really nice."
We stop talking for a moment and enjoy the tune. Joe finishes the piece.
"Cool. Could you play the first one again? I'd like to hear that one part again." I say.
"Sure - Oh! Wait, there's also the underground theme! That's also good." Joe launches into the darker underground theme, and at this point I am having some sort of realer-than-real-life-acid-flashback, where I'm 9 years old and on a coin-collecting-rampage. BA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA... BA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA...
Over the next few minutes (hours?) I ask Joe to play some of the themes a few more times, because I wasn't even close to figuring them out, and he explains some stuff to me. After a bit we remember that we were at work, and had to get back to, you know - WORK.
"Man, that was awesome! Thanks for showing me that stuff, I can't believe you know all that from memory."
"Anytime! Besides, I've forgotten a lot of it. I used to know a lot more." He thinks for a moment. Then he launches into a medley of all sorts of game themes, playing bits and pieces he can remember.
I think he played the various themes for every game I could recall owning, and then a bunch I never knew existed. And the whole time was so cool about it all. He obviously knew this music in great detail, but he shared it with me in the most friendly, natural way you can imagine.
It was like Yoda lifting the X-wing out of the muck...I learned I was standing before a fountain of wisdom, a master of musical mayhem. I might have drooled on myself a little bit, standing there hypnotized by the music.
joe's gallery of regrettable food
among many things, joe sent me actual recipes from the kraft website: "spread mayonnaise on white bread. place bologna on top of mayonnaise. top with another slice of white bread. slice in half and serve" eureka! he also tried to convince me that st. louis gooey butter cake was a good idea.
the one time i was lucky enough to meet and hang out with joe and jenn, they put out one hell of a spread at their party. there were homemade dumplings and spring rolls, two recipes i later bugged him for, and i still make them. i love the foods and drinks, and so did joe.
i never made it back down to austin to visit, and i regret that.