Cold day

Today was the first cold day for Austin this year. Joe would have woken up really excited. He loved to make soup as soon as the weather got chilly. He had the best chicken soup recipe. mmm...

This has been stuck in my head all day. Coming home to an empty house that doesn't smell like delicious cooking is so fucking hard.

damn I'm tired of this. shit.

Finally!

(I posted this on LJ, but thought it appropriate to add here as well)

I can't believe it took this long... I honestly thought it was just never going to happen, but I finally had a dream about Joe. It was nothing horribly special on its own, and that's kind of what made it special. We weren't riding a lollipop train to chocolate marshmallow land. Jenn, Joe and I were having dinner together some place that looked like Earl Abel's in its better days but a bit fancier. We already knew Joe was sick, but it was that time period where we knew Joe was sick, but you couldn't tell by looking at him. We ate dinner and then Joe decided he was still hungry and fuck it, he was going to order a second course- of pork chops no less. I don't even know if Joe liked pork chops, I personally have never cared for them, so it was a weird thing my mind decided to go with. I thought this second course thing was crazy but I would just have to join him and order something too. Jenn thought we were both just nuts. And then my alarm went off the first time. And I cried and tried to force myself back into the dream. I could still see his face and hear his voice but I couldn't make the dream stay. I woke up crying. I didn't want to wake up back into this world. I wanted to spend more time at dinner with Joe. We were just having a normal conversation and a good time. Nothing dream-like about it. Except for our unnatural ability to consume a ton of food... which isn't that far from the truth. :-)
damn it.

cheesy bacony cheese

Last week the macaroni and cheese at Hoover's made me so sad. It is damn good mac and cheese, don't get me wrong. I had leftovers, and the next day when I scraped it out of my to-go box it made actual squeaky noises. Which I think indicates extreme cheesy awesomeness.

But you just can't go out to some restaurant and get mac and cheese like Joe made it. My favorite time he made it was three years ago. We cooked a massive Thanksgiving feast with Joe and Jenn. Joe smoked the meats and made an enormous, oven-sized pan of his brilliant m/c. Jenn did pies, and Eric and I did a pale imitation of my Grandma's awesome rolls, plus sides. Joe's m/c was staggering. This enormous pan was probably four inches deep with his four-cheese, bacon, who-knows-what-all concoction. Lotsa browned crumb thingies on top. Ahhhh. The dude knew how to make it right.

Then in February we went over to cook a meal for Jenn and Joe, and sure enough, Joe whipped out some leftover m/c to add to the meal. He told us, as if he were giving us a priceless gift, that the secret to his mac and cheese was beer. Ah ha! It makes perfect sense.

Does anyone know which cheeses? How much bacon? What kinda beer? It might be something we need to work on together, rebuilding Joe's masterful macaroni and cheese. Or at least trying to. Then we can all sit around a giant pan of it and remember the amazing ways Joe fed us, with comfort food, disturbing humor, preposterous movies, music, and general crazy Joeishness. Sigh.

Another funny Joe story

While in college, Joe went on a date with a girl from one of his classes. Let's call her Jill. He said the date was okay, but a little awkward. Apparently, he was her first real date ever.

They didn't go out again after that and he hadn't seen her since the weird date. Apparently, she thought that making out meant they were a couple. She showed up at his dorm room on Valentine's day with a cross stitch that read "Joe and Jill Forever". Not knowing what to do, but feeling like he should give her something in return, he dug into his pockets and gave her a handful of change.

I don't think Jill knew how to take that. I do't know why. What girl doesn't want change for Valentine's day???

I like to believe that she ran away stunned and hurt, but then bought a coke and a snack from a nearby vending machine to console herself.

Funny story Joe loved to tell

Joe would tell me these funny, yet kind of mean stories about things he would do to his highschool girlfriend, Celeste.

This is one of my favorites.

Celeste, Joe and some of their friends went to an amusement park one summer day. Joe was never a fan of rollercoaters, especially ones that loop-dee-loop. He said they made him nauseous. Celeste didn't believe him and pressured him to go on the ride by taunting him and calling him a chicken. So, to prove a point, he went on the ride. After it ended, but before they got out of their seats, Celeste asked "See, now that wasn't so bad was it?" Joe then vomited in her lap.

I believe they all went home after that.

Sinking In?

I have been thinking about what I wanted to write here for over a month now. I wanted to say the right things that would be a credit to what Joe meant to me. Unfortunately, I don't think I can put much of what I feel into words.

I think the first night I actually talked with Joe was at YiMay's during a Nintendo Night gathering, to which I'd brought an Atari 2600 collection of games. Joe kept wanting to play the old Atari stuff rather than the fancy-pants new games. After that, there were several times when Joe and I would go on nostalgic conversations about Sesame Street, the Muppets, Gigglesnort Hotel, Sid and Marty Krofft, or other strange phenomena related to being kids in the early 80s.

I think it was when Joe invited Jennifer and I to go out to Canyon of the Eagles for his birthday in 2005 that I got to know so many of the nice people that I call friends now. That trip was a great weekend getaway, and I still remember it fondly.

I was lying in bed the other night and not sleeping. The house was quiet, and for some reason, I thought about Joe for the first time in a while. I remembered hugging him that last time. I remembered that at some point while he was still able to walk around a bit, I made him laugh. In retrospect, I think I can see that Joe did what he wanted the way he wanted, without exceptions. I'm not sure if his death has really sunk in or not. I still keep thinking that he's out there doing his thing. And I'm still trying to put words to my feelings.

no-boil noodles are a lie!

dear joe,

a few nights ago i made lasagna from the recipe you sent me two years ago. it's still awesome, even though i always forget and buy an 8 oz box of noodles instead of 16 oz. i know you probably got it off the back of a noodle box or something, but whatever, it's perfectly saucy and cheesy, just like you. thanks.

love, jen

Joe Goodbody in Vega$

STAND UP FOR SCIENCE, Y'ALL

Good and Wonderful People of Texas; Friends / Family of Joe!

Not to hijack this site with politics, but this is relevant to our Joe and the condition of PSC (and help finding a cure, furthering research, etc…) This is also, per his own words to us, what Joe hopes we do.

To quote Joe: "I hope you will engage in constructive activities, like supporting research towards finding a cure for the disease that took me down. Be watchful for the government attempting to block or prevent the research of new kinds of treatment, including stem cell research, and also other, as yet unknown, potentially controversial treatments.”

With this in mind … the following information has come from the Texas Freedom Network, who are offering very simple ways to support (stem cell) research in Texas.

The next seven weeks will be critical to the future of embryonic stem cell research in Texas, and it all starts this week. On Thursday, the House State Affairs Committee will hear testimony on seven bills related to stem cell research. But you don't have to drive all the way to Austin to have a voice at this hearing.

TFN has already received more than 1,300 postcards in support of stem cell research, and with our help we intend to double that number by the end of this month. They need you to sign up TODAY to become a postcard captain.

It's easy - if you know 10 friends and family members who will sign a postcard, you're already qualified.
E-mail them today and they will send you the simple Postcard Captain Packet with tips for collecting signatures, a bundle of postcards, and a return envelope.

Not everyone has time to come to Austin and address the Texas Legislature, but everyone can join this campaign to support scientific research that provides so much hope to so many. And it's simple:

The first step is to sign the petition yourself (if you haven't already done so).

Then, e-mail Val at TFN to get your Postcard Captain Packet and help your friends get involved in this campaign.

I have already emailed Val for the packet and signed the petition. I don’t know how much (if any) weight signing a petition or sending in postcards carries, ultimately – but if it gets attention, proves a point or generates a second-thought about controversial treatments (like stem-cell research), it’s worth doing.

Thanks!

-Devonie

a sweet post about joe on astrologyzone.com

i hope it's ok to post this here. it is so kind and heartbreaking to read. my friend back in okc who didn't even know joe was reading his horoscope and saw this wonderful letter at the bottom, and forwarded it to me. scroll way down: http://astrologyzone.com/forecasts/monthly/sagittarius_full.php

and here it is copied and pasted, if i may:

In Memory of Joe Warmbrodt

Astrology Zone's Beloved Friend and Engineer

February 9, 1974 - March 26, 2007

Dear Astrology Zone readers,

Our beloved friend and engineer, Joe Warmbrodt, died of liver cancer at 2:15 PM on March 26, 2007. He was 33 years old.

Everyone here at Astrology Zone is feeling terrible grief. As I write this, I am heavy of heart, and in my hotel room in the city where Joe lived, in Austin, Texas. The memorial service for Joe took place this morning. It was filled with people, most very young. The ceremony had all the qualities that I would use to describe Joe: intelligent, at times very funny, and filled with genuine affection and emotion. The music he loved best, from the Beatles and Bach, was played.

Joe and I first met in 2001 when I was looking for top-notch engineers for Astrology Zone, a search that took me to cities all over the United States. AZ had been on Time Warner and Disney servers, but it was time to go onto our own.

It was actually an executive at Barnes & Noble who sent me to Joe and his brother Tom because the Warmbrodt brothers had built part of the Barnes & Noble site. BN was very pleased with the Warmbrodt brothers' razor sharp intelligence, solid practicality, and spot on problem-solving ability. Tom, Joe's younger brother, had a consulting service, and both brothers were to work with me to get Astrology Zone safely transferred to our own servers, and after that, to care of the site each month.

When I first met Joe and told him I am an astrologer, in my mind the thought flashed that because Joe is a man of science, he might make disparaging remarks about my interest in astrology. Joe surprised me - his reaction could not have been more different from what I expected.

Joe told me he was quite an astronomy buff and had studied the planets with his own telescope for years. He told me he was quite curious about what I could tell him about the planets he had studied, from an astrological standpoint. I knew immediately that we would be good friends. What I saw on that first day was very "Joe" - ever curious, funny, and without exception, kind.

Joe, Tom, and I began working together in August 2001. Tom wrote new HTML code for us because Disney would not give back the code I had bought from Time Warner. Had Tom not done the writing of the code - a monster job that took many grueling weeks for Tom to complete - Astrology Zone would have been wiped off the Internet immediately. Astrology Zone debuted on independent servers on September 11, 2001, having left Disney servers the night before.

Tom told me that his brother, Joe, would handle the day-to-day care of Astrology Zone and do the postings each month. From that day forth, Joe and I had the most contact, and we enjoyed our frequent conversations. Joe had a strong philosophical bent, and so do I, so there was a ready-match.

Joe first became ill one year ago at the March 29, 2006 eclipse. We all almost lost him last year, as he had a reaction to the medical procedure he was given at the time, and he went unconscious for weeks. When he came out of it, doctors were surprised. All us thought he had finally beaten his health problem.

It was not to be. On December 22, 2006, this past Christmas time, Joe was diagnosed with a certain kind of liver cancer, an autoimmune disease that is genetic. He was not on the list for a liver transplant, as his body would have attacked his new liver. He called me and asked, "Susan, are you aware of the seriousness of this?" I was, but I tried hard to sound calm yet optimistic.

Joe was married to a lovely girl, Jenn, whose voice and manner is as soft as perfume, but who also has a powerful inner core. Joe adored Jenn. She had been Joe's rock throughout his ordeal, which we learned stretched back many years, as far back as 14 years old. Joes' father told me that Joe had spent years in and out of hospitals.

Jenn is not only lovely but also a person we all admire. The couple did not have any children. Jenn has been at Joe's side every minute. Joe was glad he had the past weeks at home, where he was happiest.

Everyone here at the Astrology Zone office feels in crisis. None of us can believe Joe is gone. In January, just after he was diagnosed and just prior to beginning heavy-duty treatment, he and Jenn took a little holiday to Las Vegas. I know he was really looking forward to getting away and spending some fun, quality time with the girl he loved with all his heart, Jenn. He told me that he planned to use the time he had fully, with gusto. There was to be no gloom and doom.

Today, at the service, his friends read two letters they had found in Joe's computer. One letter was a goodbye to all of us, his friends, collectively, and one letter was addressed to Jenn, his wife. Both were read, and they had Joe's usual wit and humor throughout. Joe was always hilarious, and never more than now. Aside from the lighthearted parts ("I am sure there will be rioting in the streets as soon as news of my passing is announced. The National Guard will have to be called in to stop the looting.") But a deeper serious side was evident too, one that showed he was very concerned about how we would feel, and how we would get along in the future.

A talented musician on the side, Joe wrote a song for Jenn, and told his brother Tom that he regretted never having the pleasure of recording it for her. His friends looked at his notes, and saw the song was fully complete, with all the musical notations and lyrics done. His friends recorded the music and sang the song to that music live for Jenn at the memorial. There was not a dry eye in the group. It ended the ceremony - there was nothing more we could say.

Thank you for being there for me today, dear readers, and for caring so much about our beloved friend of Astrology Zone, Joe Warmbrodt.
I know you have been sending prayers for Joe for months, and I know Joe appreciated them so dearly. We shared your messages with him and his family from time to time. Your ability to comfort others is enormous, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your tenderness, sensitivity and compassion.

Thank you too for the poems you posted on the Astrology Zone Message Board for Joe after his passing. Many posted beautiful poems of famous poets that we all have found comforting. I have given Jenn copies of those poems. One reader wrote an original poem, very simple, and yet very heartfelt. I will share it with you. It was submitted by "playfulpisces" on the board:

Joe

We never met,
But it was plain to see,
How much you did here,
For all at the AZ.

We enjoyed the scopes,
It raised our hopes.
Was that way for me.
And all because
You worked diligently

So I say goodbye,
With tears and a sigh
See you again
At your home in the sky.

Farewell.


Thank you for all you did for us, and for everyone you touched, Joe. We love you.

Susan

a Year from Now ...

Information from Dawn that will interest you good and wonderful people.

“I have created this site for people who are interested in helping with a memorial benefit in Joe's honor to raise funds for PSC research. PSC Partners has already agreed to partner with friends of Joe to make this dream a reality”.

Joe's father said:

I want the people who hear or read this to understand that the cancer that killed Joe didn't just pop up out of the blue, but is actually the culmination of a single disease process that started in his early teen years. A small percentage of the general population gets IBD (inflammatory bowel disease, either Crohn's Disease or Ulcerative Colitis), a small percentage of IBD victims get PSC (primary sclerosing cholangitis), and a relatively large percentage of PSC victims get a specific type of liver cancer. The PSC and liver cancer (cholangiocarcinoma) are relatively rare, and there is not much research money going in their direction...

"This should change"

"The fact is that Joe surrounded himself with amazing, talented, and generous people. Collectively we have the power to help this cause. Please join the community if you are interested. The purpose of this community will be to discuss and plan the memorial benefit.”
-Dawn

http://community.livejournal.com/hotbread/

Sweet People … this is a tremendous opportunity for us to really do something awesome to honor our dear friend, and to hopefully save other cherished “Joes” from the same struggles with PSC (and the PSC/Cholangiocarcinoma Cancer Combo). I can think of no better way to honor his memory and spirit, and I can certainly think of no better group of people with which to do so … If you join the community, you can read the communications between Dawn and the PSC Partners org.

Hooray!
@(-_-)@
-Devonie

The Candy man sure as hell can!

Joe iChat: Elvis Is King

Behold this iChat I've been saving, wherein Joe is awesome as always:



My thoughts were with all of you who were at his services and memorial today. I wish I could have been there...

Karaoke and Stonehenge

Unless I dreamed this (and correct me, someone, if I did), the last time I saw Joe in person he and Jenn were singing "Muskrat Love." And it was amazing! It was Chris and Phil's wedding -- one of the most beautiful evenings ever -- and Patrick and I were so happy we could be there. Aside from all the love and laughter in the room, Joe and Jenn's karaoke classic definitely stands out in my mind above all else. There was cute muskrat miming and coordinated lovey dovey-ness, along with excellent singing, of course. And it was just so Joe and Jenn.

Another classic was the time when "Spinal Tap" came out in special edition and we all had that big party/jam session and Jenn danced like a dwarf around Stonehenge. When a woman that awesome loves you, you know you're awesome, too! And vice versa. Joe and Jenn were and will always be TOTALLY AWESOME! It sounds goofy but it's a fact.

And now it's time to go to Joe "Hot Bread"'s memorial and celebrate the life of one of the best guys we've all ever known. We love you, Joe.

You haven't lived like Joe lived.

Perhaps my favorite quote from Joe is one he made a few days after Halloween. 2003, maybe? (edited by the safety of a fuzzy memory)

You haven't lived until you’ve been Willy Wonka, fucking an Oompa Loompa. Highly recommended.

ichatting with joe

once jenn went out of town and joe was left alone at home with nothing to do so he decided to harass me and my choice of pet.

Joe iChat: Baby Names & Cat Disorders

Joe was so cool about letting me babble on and on about our soon-to-be-born child, and of course he cracked me up the whole time, which took the edge off my nervousness.


And this is just damn funny:

it's a moral imperative.

I've just been reminded of a Halloween party a couple of years ago - this one, hosted by Joe and Jenn, had an eighties theme, complete with a polaroid photo yearbook being assembled on the wall as people arrived. The idea piqued a lot of people's interest and creativity, but it took a few weeks for my obvious costume choice to became clear. In my case, it based on a nickname I'd had in years past, from the days when I had long hair, studied physics, and lived in a corner room on campus.

Just prior to the event, Joe and I were discussing the upcoming party, and he had a concept he obviously was proud of, as well. We smugly dropped each other hints.

Then paused.

Then realized that we had picked the same movie: Joe was planning on impersonating Chris Knight from Real Genius, and I had zeroed in on Lazlo Hollyfeld. (Joe's costume featured an "I heart toxic waste" shirt; mine included a large tray full of envelopes and a wig). Somehow both of those character choices still seem perfect.

Commune the LIVING FORCE!

(EDIT - seems my font was ridiculously small and hard to read. Thanks cookiecrook!) Now this should take up even more space on the blog, but I don't see a way to cut-tag it.

more silly-fun Joe conversations … (is there a way to cut-tag this stuff?) I guess I’ll just lay out this nerd-ass stuff right here.

hi Devonie...
The other day, I discovered the most delicious licorice candy I have ever eaten in my life. I thought of you, because I know you like licorice. It's called "Kookaburra" and it's awesome. What is it with Australians and licorice? They know how to do it RIGHT. I got mine at Central Market. I think I'm going to send you some next week. You need to try it. Hope you are well, having a great weekend, and not too busy to enjoy life.
-Joe

Joe-
Zane is on my computer.
He said, "Who's asking what a nice girl is doing on the internet?"
I said, "Whaaa??"
He said, "Texapocalypse"
I told him it was you.
Heh - So ... FYI, Zane is signed on to my computer and my AIM is evidently on.
-Dev

Dev --
So I have the perfect opportunity to really, really creep him out now.
-Joe

Star Wars talk ... (we had a lot of this … a lot a lot a LOT!!)

Devonie --
Doing well. I guess my midichlorian count is somewhere in the level between Darth Maul and Saesee Tinn. Still having weird food cravings and my appetite is going through the roof. Too bad I'm not actually craving anything HEALTHY, it's always gotta be burritos and fried shit.
-Joe

Joe,
Anyone who doesn't enjoy this movie has some kind of fucking brain damage.
-Dev

Hey Devonie --
Anyone who doesn't like it is a world-class asshole.
For real. I just can't wrap my brain around folks who naysay!!
-Joe

re: Star Wars – and the crying:

Devonie --
on opening night; Jenn and I just sat there during the closing credits, mouths hanging open, not saying anything. I remember during the final sunset scene, thinking to myself, "AW FUCK, THIS IS IT, NO MORE STAR WARS!!!" and that's when I started crying.
-Joe

Joe,
Zane says to me, "Mom - were you crying?" I said, "Yeah - you know, a little. I love these movies. This is the last one." He said, "But you're CRYING?" I said, "The first time I saw Star Wars I was seven. I've been in love with this story ever since, and as you know - that equals to about 114 years, give or take." He was thrilled to go see it. We held hands at the beginning and when the crawl started, he squeezed my hand and said, "Here it comes Mom!!" And shit like that makes it even more awesome. The excitement of it all. It's a good time. Down with the haters!!
-Dev

Devonie --
When the movie started for us, it was like with you and Zane. I looked at Jenn, she looked at me. We're like, "HERE WE GO!!!" It's like a ride at Disneyworld or something.
-Joe

Joe,
Yes – it's a total Disney Ride! The build up, the whole rollercoaster climbing into the clouds feeling - about to hit that big super heart-in-the-throat stomach flipping DROP!! Yes – that's what the crawl does to me. Love the crawl, in all it's old-school glory.
Yeah – when he walked in on the little jedi-babies and that little fresh-faced little Anakin-of-old kid approaches him. I was a little caught off guard. I was thinking, he'll probably just leave them there or something, or maybe tell them to hide or FUCK HE'S GOING TO KILL THEM ALL!!!!!! Amazing. Sad. Disturbing. That whole disturbing betrayal and massacre of the Jedi was TOUGH. Ugh. I loved the shot of the helmet being lowered. I loved how it made that exact same sound in the old movie, too. That thunk-ping! Creepy vacuum sound. Love that shit! I just get chills thinking back on the movie. I cannot wait to see it again.
I cherish our Star Wars talk, I really do.
-Dev

Devonie –
(watching bootleg) And shit, I'm watching the video right now... the part where they shoot Ki-Adi Mundi!!! And then they shoot that green Jedi chick while she's down!!! And the music! It's just so sad! All these Jedi get betrayed like BITCHES and they look so surprised. It's just such a sucker punch! I was glad when Yoda decapitated the dudes who tried to kill him. Oops, the slaughter of the younglings just came on. That part made me cry, seriously. That is when you know Anakin is beyond any help. It is probably the darkest moment in all of the Star Wars movies. HE SLAUGHTERS THE LITTLE KIDS. And the music is soooo good there, too.
-Joe

Follow up email:

Devonie –
I wish I could hook up with you guys and watch the movie with you!
Maybe we can, sometime this summer!!!
So... maybe you'll enjoy this nerd-ass shit. I've been writing notes as I've watched the movie. Just my thoughts on various shit. Whenever I see something interesting in the movie, I've written a little note.
I eventually want to compare the movie to the original screenplay that I read -- they edited the FUCK out of the final cut to get it to move faster! There are LOTS of missing scenes in the original screenplay. Anyway, here are my notes (attached). They don't go all the way to the end of the movie, because I'm not done transcribing the notes yet.
-Joe

Joe,
LOVE THE NOTES!!!!!!
Well - would that "creating life" thing sort of give credence to that whole immaculate conception theory with Anakin's Mom? Or hell - Maybe Darth Plagious spewed her with midichlorians the old fashioned way and just knocked her up? Maybe it's just bullshit? Maybe .. I don't know, I am not sure what that means, or what Anakin's "origin" is.
hmm... Maybe Shmi was a Sith groupie of some kind, who knows?
-Dev

Devonie –
OH YEAH ... I love that you can see the Death Star and TARKIN at the end of the movie!!! HOW COOL IS THAT???
dude... i just got an email from my brother... the movie BLEW HIS MIND... he wrote like a 5-page dissertation on Star Wars... he loved the movie! So, when can we see this movie together?
I feel a need to commune in the Living Force with you!
-Joe

:D

ichatting with joe

Classic Joe

I'm posting this mostly for my wife-to-be, Nancy. This is her and Joe's first exchange, from Live Journal:

consolejockey (me):
Holy crap, some weird girl is posting pictures of me on her web site! And she's hot.

texapocalypse:
Dude. You're totally gonna get laid.

bellagooch:
Dear texapocalypse,

I assume that you are an actual friend of consolejockey. Therefore, consider yourself spared.

I'm 1/4 Sicilian.

ci vediamo,
Bellagooch

texapocalypse:
Nope, I totally don't know him.

Enjoy the sex.

-*-

joemories

it has always been clear to me that joe is a damn genius. it's a sign of extreme intelligence to have a woman as awesome as jenn is. during the time i worked with joe, a moment of genius stands out. a few of us walked to katz's for fried pickles and other atrocities, and over lunch joe explained that he was about to quit his job so he could tackle a game he wanted to build. this kinda blew my workaday mind. and over the seven-ish years i've known joe, he continued to make choices that your typical cube farmer would never be creative or brave enough to make. joe knew exactly what he wanted, and he never let anybody's boring expectations stand in his way.

i love remembering the many jam sessions held on the rickety roof of my clarksville apartment's garage. joe would bring his accordion, and alarmo, eric roach and others would bring guitars, and they would play whatever 80s song we could think to request. my all-time favorite is joe's rendition of "hungry like the wolf." it took joe just a few seconds to remember any song. as a mildly senile person, i find this just absolutely stunning.

joe and jenn together are awesome. they'll always be awesome, even if it has to be on another time/space continuum. they ARE compatibility. i know lots of great teams, but joe and jenn take it to another, crazier, more fun, more amazing level. when they would get going, each one escalating the filth and insanity, i'd end up laughing so hard i'd turn pink and cry. ha!

i thank joe for giving me:
roast beef/pumpernickel/caramelized onion/swiss cheese sammiches
the best mashed potatoes in the world (note: this is coming from an idahoan... i know.)
twisted messed up movies
tasty home brew
reason to go to midland and actually have fun there
the best versions of 80s music
manhole inspector
laughter: laughter with crying, laughter to the point of nearly spitting up, old-fashioned laughy laughter
the honor of being with him as he died

i will always remember the awesomeness of joe. he teaches me to be brave and take chances with life, to hold out for real friends, and to be ready for my own death, so that it can be as beautiful as his was. i love you, joe.

I think it was Christmas 2004 when we threw a huge Christmas party. Even my parents were here from Grapevine, TX. We bought a lot of booze, and Joe made me the best martini I've ever had. After I drank the first one, I had him make me a couple more. Jenn made my dad an amaretto sour. Joe played the piano, and we sang carols. My parents both remembered Jenn and Joe.

On Monday, after Joe passed away, I called my mom to tell her. She told my dad when he got home from work, and he wrote me this email.

My heart goes out to Joe, his wife, his parents and to all his friends; especially to you and Jennifer. Words can not express the depth of sorrow that you all feel when confronted with the loss of a loved one or a dear friend. I feel your anguish.

The last gift that my mother gave to me, so many years ago, is a book that I have grown to love and to cherish. I have turned to it many times in the past and will continue to depend on it in the future. "The Prophet" has so many good passages, but I send this one to you, Joe's wife and to all who share his loss:

"Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing. And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb. And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance."

Today, Joe is free. Dance with him.

Love,
Dad

retrospectacle

I suppose it's normal to remember the first and the most recent things around a person, or setting, and forget what happens in between. Maybe that's why in the past week or so I've found myself idly going through old emails and pictures involving Joe and re-discovering bits of the past 8 years since I first met him. MonkeyDepartment games (including SuperCosmic Radio, which I still think was and is an awesome idea). 80's cover songs featuring accordians and acoustic guitars - or banjos. Beer. More beer. Robotic Mindstorm legos, and midnight trips to Target for more parts. Late nights and dark-sky trips with telescopes, which brings me back to one of the first times that we met, when we wandered back to my house and brought out the telescope and looked at planets from the front yard.

For the most part, though, I'm finding myself thinking about the past year, and trying to remind myself that it's existed, in between last spring's health crisis and now. Random karaoke moments from Austin Karaoke and Common Interest. Scrabble games. Various get-togethers involving 700 kinds of sausage or food masquerading as non-food items (Lileks would be proud). Part of me still misses the days back when we'd stay up all night playing Starcraft, five or six nights a week (fortunately, I had a couple of jobs in those years where showing up on time in the mornings wasn't particularly important.)

Probably the last long conversation I had with Joe was earlier this year, right before Chris and I got married, when he called and we went on a long internet scavenger hunt trying to track down a particular Star Wars script that had been translated and retranslated into gibberish. It disappeared off the net about five years ago, so all we had to work from was a few half-remembered phrases such as "I find your lack of sturgeons of the belief" and "you play the horn beep". (We did, I'm proud to say, track down the elusive quarry. Its archived form is here, thanks to the wayback machine.)

Sometime around then, I remember him pointing out that he wasn't sure if he'd be able to make it to our wedding, with his treatment schedule. Turns out, of course, that he was able to be there; I was actually standing next to my boss when Joe and Jenn went up on stage and sang Muskrat Love, which prompted a wonderfully unusual and slightly awkward "is that what I think it is?" moment. Perfect.

Part of me keeps thinking about all the things I'm going to miss doing and talking about. A big part of me, though, is glad that knowing Joe never turned into a "what if it's the last time?" thing - as far as I ever saw, he approached everything he did with fascination, and as if he had all the time in the world for it. That's all I could hope for, and it's a skill I'm still trying to learn from him.

Much love.

Game Night at Joe & Jenn's

One night Joe and Jenn had us over for game night. It was awesome. We made pizzas. We drank beer and whiskey. We played games. We played a bunch of games actually, but the one I remember most clearly was a game of StarCraft. The teams were evenly matched: Joe and Jenn on one team, with Tom and me on the other. And so we set out to see who would dominate the cosmos.

Needless to say, this was the single greatest game of StarCraft I ever played. The battle lasted for hours! We would make a small advance, and then Joe and Jenn would flank us and drive us back. We’d knock down one of their turrets, only to find that they had teleported past the front and were attacking our SCVs. It was amazing to see them work together, carefully and quietly plotting each move and executing it with perfect timing.

As the night wore on Tom and I finally broke through their defenses. With sheer brute force we managed to get our Siege Tanks through the largest Protoss minefield ever created. We were just about to roll our troops into their home base when Joe and Jenn executed their master-stroke. In one fell swoop they not only denied us our victory, but they also completely blew our minds. At the very moment when the tide was about to turn…

Joe and Jenn quit out of the game.

The game was over. We didn’t win. They didn’t loose. Joe and Jenn did the completely unexpected, and yet in retrospect, most genius move ever. They simply changed the rules of the game on us. Needless to say I was red in the face. I couldn’t believe it. My brain was totally hacked, and has remained so ever since.

But that’s just how they roll. Tom could only laugh. If he didn’t see it coming he knew this was the kind of move only they could pull. Joe and Jenn are infamous for throwing out the rules. They play their own game, and they play it well together.

I see OJ!

This is just a small thing but very Joe-esque.

Joe and I (and Tom… and Mason) both worked at a Desktop Publishing service bureau in the early to mid 90s. In fact that is where I had the great fortune to meet him and share many wacky hours together. In June 1994 I was working my usual second shift output tech job when I got a call from Joe from home.

"Dude! You have GOT to turn on the TV!!!"

I went into the break room and did just that only to join the famous OJ Simpson/Al Cowlings low speed chase already in progress. Thanks Joe!

Unfortunately what I did not see at the time was the infamous “Mr. Higgins” incident on ABC news. But that’s about all Joe wanted to talk about the next day at work. It is a classic moment in the history of the media in this country so I certainly understand why Joe loved that so much. I can still hear Joe saying, " I see OJ, man, and he looks scared…"

The audio.

The transcript of this awesome moment in American history.

An analysis.

"A Different Kind of Shitty"

(Reposted from my Journal ...)

Letter to Joe, titled “A Different Kind of Shitty” (thanks chris9 for the line).

For the record – I’m not going to apologize for how long and / or sappy this is likely to be.

Joe,

I miss you already. So much. I’ve been talking to people about you and laughing and crying. I was going through photos and emails, dating years back. It’s been comforting, heartbreaking and awesome to relive all those moments, even those mundane things we would talk about that seem so much more monumental now, only because I want to capture each word you said to me, typed me or commented on this stupid journal, and hug it. You are such a delight to everyone who’s known you, and you have inspired so many to really rise above and learn things about love and friendship that we may have never learned otherwise. I know you have done that for me. I hope that you knew how much you were (are) loved, and how you will be missed. I’m amazed at the friend-collective that surrounds you and cherishes you; those beautiful people who were able to be there with you, holding your hands and feet, singing to you and enveloping you in an amazing amount of love when you passed, so fittingly to your favorite Beatles album. Amazing. Hearing about how it all transpired; so surreal and beautiful, completely fitting, and with a soundtrack that could not have been more perfect in any imaginable way, and it fills me with a weird sort of inexplicable happiness. This content sort of peace was not what I was expecting to feel – it certainly hasn’t been what I’ve been experiencing in recent months while you’ve been so sick. While I hate that you are gone from us, I am touched by all the strength and love that encircled you, and I feel certain that you drifted into a love-filled, beautiful sleep. You deserve peace and rest, free from all that terrible pain. You said in a big post, that you weren’t going down with a big-ass fight, and you didn’t. Your strength through this has also been inspiring. It’s unimaginable. Zane is sad. This is a first for him too. He keeps talking about you and wanting to do something. Today he decided that he wants to design and plant an “Octopus’s Garden” for you in our back yard, with pretty colors and various Joe-like things. Nina suggested we plant herbs because you and Jenn had trouble growing them. Zane is working on the design. He was looking up tumbled, colored glass on the internet tonight. As he told me, “you’ve only known Joe for part of your life. I’ve known Joe my whole ENTIRE life". I suppose I can’t really argue with that. He cried when I played “Yesterday” on the way to dinner with Nina and Brandon tonight. The Beatles are going to be hard to listen to, but it feels good to do so, and I think many people will feel close to you when they hear The Beatles, and especially Abbey Road. Back to Zane real quick - I wonder if you even know the impact you have had on his life. You would probably be surprised. He was so excited to hang out with you and Jenn back in November. You were going to build a subatomic particle chamber out of household items. You did warn me that it would be a “tiny bit dangerous”. You emailed me back and said:

“While you're partying, Zane will be playing with radioactive isotopes and cryogenic vapor. -Joe”

Turns out you were missing an item of some kind, maybe your shipment from Chernobyl hadn’t arrived on time?

In further email goodness that I was torturing myself with; I ran across a back-and-forth email we had about your health issues. This was shortly before the shit hit the fan the first time. Many of our emails were rife with some of the most foul language ever uttered or written in any form. Here's a note from me to you:

"Joe, You've overcome so much that this is going to be gravy compared, so fuck it. This is nothing. This won't get you. This jizz-guzzling, cockpunching, fucktastic, shitspewing procedure doesn't stand a motherfucking chance, so whatevs. You need to add "hospitals" to your (insult) generator and let me fucking contribute to that shit. -Dev"

And you responded with,

"On Thursday, I'm going to whip my bitch-ass bile ducts and liver into complete submission. Then I'm going to headbutt a doctor, explode an oxygen canister, and I might even rape a nurse on my way out of the flaming wreckage of what used to be a hospital. Look for it on the news -- the crawling subtitle onscreen will say something like "JOE'S PROCEDURE A SUCCESS; SUBSEQUENT RAMPAGE DESTROYS HOSPITAL, BLOWS NURSE'S MIND -Joe"

And these emails are going to soothe me; you have no idea how I will cherish these. I have a lot of them, and they’re all brilliant and hilarious. I’m so glad I have them.

Here’s one of your notes that I love:

"What the hell is up with the universe?
I swear, I'm going to find a way to get my Insult Generator to send
long strings of intricately profane insults DIRECTLY TO GOD.
It will be the most blasphemous computer program ever written (other
than Windows 95)
-Joe"

And after your gorgeous benefit event last summer, you said:

"I just wish I could have stayed later at the benefit thing last month. Every time I see a picture of you guys it makes me want to throw a big party and invite you. Or show up at your front door with fireworks, booze, and large containers of fried food. And whipped cream, which you could then apply to my wife's crotch, as is your way.
-Joe"

Ah the sick humor. I will forever get joy out of that gift of yours. You emailed me on my birthday and I wrote you back, telling you that I was as old as Yoda. Your response to me still makes me laugh:

"Devonie,
(voice of comic book nerd)
As old as Yoda? Heh, I do not THINK so. In the Star Wars universe, no one knows exactly how old Yoda is, but most agree that he is at least 700 years old. No one even knows what race he is. Although in the Expanded Universe series, it is said he is a "Whill", a race that recorded the early history of the Republic, including the first Sith / Jedi battles. So it is highly unlikely that you are as old as Yoda. Happy Birthday anyway. -Joe"

You will always make me laugh. Your sense of humor is a huge contributor to my being able to cope with your absence. I am comforted by your words, your warmth and boundless hilarity. Thank you for making this easier on all of us through your sense of humor. You know - Tonight, we were having dinner with Nina and Brandon, enjoying conversation and talking about you, and their visit with you and Jenn and everyone at your house yesterday. Suddenly the radio in the restaurant began to play Eric Clapton’s “Tears in Heaven”, and we all burst into some kind of laughing / crying, hysterically inappropriate fit, hearing your perfect imitation of Clapton singing “Would you know my name? If you fell out the window …” Yes – it seems you are already managing to somehow make inappropriate, ill-timed, sick jokes around your friends who just aren’t READY YET. How do you even DO THAT?

You are missed already, Joe. Missed hard and you're ridiculously, forever, loved.

-Devonie

Beer Supply

Joe and I were in a band together for 4 or 5 months. We practiced every week or so. We called ourselves Beer Supply (Joe's idea). We played a couple of the songs he had been writing as a "dark side of the rainbow" soundtrack for Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, and a couple of other songs.

My first memory of meeting Joe was when he was setting up an intranet for the stress factory. He had set up the four iron chefs (Sakai, Morimoto, Kenichi and Kobe) as employees.

Truly an inspiration -- a dedicated and thoughtful artist, and the finest of friends.

Master Techie Mentor

Game Music

Before I had a clue how awesome Joe was, I knew him as the guy who had a MIDI keyboard at his desk in the NotHarvard office. I think one day we got to talking about music, and were geeking out about all sorts of stuff, and I told him I thought it would be fun to learn how to play some old NES video game theme songs on my guitar.

Jackpot!

Joe's like: "Really? Which ones, because I used to know a bunch" He fires up the keyboard.

"Well, I guess I could start with Super Mario Brothers..."

"Oh yeah, that ones great. Which level were you going to learn?"

I am not certain I remember the actual name of the music..."Uh, you know...the...theme. I guess it's the main theme...?"

All of a sudden, the air is filled with the bopping sounds of the Super Mario Brothers theme. It takes me a second to realize Joe is playing it perfectly before my very eyes, but he's looking at me, not at the keyboard. "This one?"

"Whoa! Holy sh*t! Yeah, that's the one. That's amazing!"

"Because I always liked the underwater theme, too..."

I hadn't actually played Super Mario Brothers in forever at this point, and I'm thinking, "Oh, yeah, there WAS that underwater level... DAMN that was hard to swim and - " and then I realize Joe is playing the underwater score, even better than the original. He's still looking at me, to see if I remember the music.

"Oh yeah! That was cool... man, I had forgotten all about that one! Wow, it's really nice."

We stop talking for a moment and enjoy the tune. Joe finishes the piece.

"Cool. Could you play the first one again? I'd like to hear that one part again." I say.

"Sure - Oh! Wait, there's also the underground theme! That's also good." Joe launches into the darker underground theme, and at this point I am having some sort of realer-than-real-life-acid-flashback, where I'm 9 years old and on a coin-collecting-rampage. BA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA... BA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA...

Over the next few minutes (hours?) I ask Joe to play some of the themes a few more times, because I wasn't even close to figuring them out, and he explains some stuff to me. After a bit we remember that we were at work, and had to get back to, you know - WORK.

"Man, that was awesome! Thanks for showing me that stuff, I can't believe you know all that from memory."

"Anytime! Besides, I've forgotten a lot of it. I used to know a lot more." He thinks for a moment. Then he launches into a medley of all sorts of game themes, playing bits and pieces he can remember.

I think he played the various themes for every game I could recall owning, and then a bunch I never knew existed. And the whole time was so cool about it all. He obviously knew this music in great detail, but he shared it with me in the most friendly, natural way you can imagine.

It was like Yoda lifting the X-wing out of the muck...I learned I was standing before a fountain of wisdom, a master of musical mayhem. I might have drooled on myself a little bit, standing there hypnotized by the music.

joe's gallery of regrettable food

chances are, if you've seen me typing away at work in the past four years, i was talking to joe. he helped me successfully avoid actual work for a long time, spanning erm, a few jobs.

among many things, joe sent me actual recipes from the kraft website: "spread mayonnaise on white bread. place bologna on top of mayonnaise. top with another slice of white bread. slice in half and serve" eureka! he also tried to convince me that st. louis gooey butter cake was a good idea.

the one time i was lucky enough to meet and hang out with joe and jenn, they put out one hell of a spread at their party. there were homemade dumplings and spring rolls, two recipes i later bugged him for, and i still make them. i love the foods and drinks, and so did joe.

i never made it back down to austin to visit, and i regret that.

Cup of Joe

i'm not sure who took this, butt (teehee) its my fav of joe.

We Love Joe...

...so we started this weblog in order for everyone to share their memories and stories about him. (more to come)